Nobody comes into my office and says, “Hey Doc, I just lost my life savings and my erection is better than ever.” The truth is that stress can negatively impact erections but so can a lot of other things. More than one-third of American men between 40 to 70 experience erectile difficulties (ED). That’s 20 million men! The great thing is that there is a lot you can do to improve the situation. If you are on medication, talk to your doc and see if your meds could be the culprit. If so, there are generally alternatives that are more penis-friendly. Exercise more. It’s all about your cardiovascular system and blood flow. If you smoke, stop yesterday. Not only do cigarettes make your mouth taste like an ashtray but they will soften your erection as well and ultimately make your penis shrink down to the size of a baby carrot. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra may be options for you as well. Many GP’s are not aware of the 2.5 MG dose of everyday Cialis so you might want to talk to your MD about that as an option (less side affects and you are always ready). Your diet and vitamins can also have an impact. There is a really good book called “The Hardness Factor” that has lots of details about how diet and vitamins can make for a harder and happier penis. The bottom line is that most couples don’t have to settle for softness.
I wish this post was about Iraq or North Korea however unfortunately we are talking about California, the largest state in this great nation. Merriam-Webster’s 10th edition contains the term and definition for “oral sex” (oral stimulation of the genitals). This past week, one parent in Riverside, California complained to the school district and the world’s most published dictionary has been banned from the 4th and 5th grade classrooms. This is the type of “head in the sand” policy that continues to cause increasing rates in STD’s and unwanted teen pregnancies. Our kids need comprehensive sexuality education. Ignorance solves nothing. I’m guessing that most 4th and 5th graders have access to a computer. When they do a Google search for “oral sex” like I just did, they are going to see that the search engine found 21,300,000 pages of information on oral sex, the first of which was “Free Nasty Oral” while the second was “give the best blow jobs.” CNN took a pole and found that 97% of the respondents are against banning the dictionaries yet the school board remains solid in their convictions and have vowed to “start looking for other things of a graphic nature.” I propose that the 11th edition of the dictionary shows a picture of the 2010 school board next to the word, “knucklehead”.
Here it is folks, your comprehensive guide to semen in 500 words or less. First off, semen is not to be confused with seamen. Although many seamen are men, and most men have semen, and most semen contains 1% sperm, not all seamen can swim. On the other hand, living sperm within semen can swim and generally do so at a nautical speed of 7 inches per hour. Switching to air travel for semen, no seamen can fly but most semen can. In fact, semen blast off during the initial ejaculatory launch at a speed of nearly 30 MPH and can fly up to 3 feet in the air. This is exactly why the US Naval Command encourages their young seamen to where safety goggles during masturbation. Semen presents dangers to even the most experienced seamen. For more valuable information on semen, go to: http://www.accessrx.com/blog/sexuality-dr-neil-cannon/all-about-semen/
2010 is The Year of the Tiger. Not only that, but Chinese New Years falls on February 14th this year. Hmmm. I bet Valentine’s Day is a little different in the Woods household this year. But here’s the deal: Regardless of how bad it looks, it may not be over for Tiger and Elin. People who are compulsive about sex can be just as compulsive about healing if given the chance. If Tiger and Elin want to make this work and hold their family together, they can. Believe it or not, I have seen couples with much bigger problems heal and learn to love each other like never before. It may look hopeless, but don’t count Tiger out from coming back yet. Just ask Roco Mediate!
I have the honor of working with many people who have been abused physically, emotionally and or sexually. Our culture teaches us to “forgive and forget” and in fact those who don’t are often shamed for not taking the high road. Society says to forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones, and turn the other cheek. For people who have been abused or traumatized, forgiving isn’t necessarily the answer. The truth is you can choose to accept what has happened but you don’t have to forgive whoever has harmed you unless you so choose to. Forgiving is a very personal choice not to be influenced by what you think you “should” do. There is no shame in accepting what has happened without forgiving the perpetrator. The power comes when you can make your reaction to what happened be a choice. That’s the difference between being a victim and being a survivor.
As we wrap up 2009 I found it interesting, but hardly surprising that US News & World Reports announced marriage and family therapy as one of the 50 best careers for 2010. Why? Because counseling works! I can’t tell you how many times I have seen individuals and couples in horrible distress who feel more hopeful after just one therapy session. Most people are in therapy for a lot longer than one session of course and I am certainly not claiming the positive results are due to my “personal brilliance”. However when we think about the three most important characteristics in a counselor; those being “empathy, warmth, and genuineness,” (William Miller), it’s hardly surprising that people respond well to therapy, which is why the field is growing. The best advice I can give anyone considering therapy is that if you think you need it, you just might. I love what Sydney Smith said, “Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” That is what it is like to be a therapist 7 days a week, so what’s not to love!
Help make history by signing the DSM Revision Petition now! The diagnoses in the DSM-IV-TR still subject
people who practice BDSM, fetishes and cross-dressing to bias, discrimination and social sanctions
without any scientific basis.
Sexual attitudes and behaviors change over time, i.e., it was only 100 years ago that masturbation was thought to cause blindness by the same medical community that is responsible for writing the 800 page DSM today. Do you really want the government in your bedroom determining what is and is not a healthy form of sexual expression?
In addition to my private practice as a sex therapist I also testify as an expert witness as well as conduct diversity training for large corporations. Labeling people as mentally ill can have a tremendous impact on child custody cases, employment matters, and security clearances. For mental health professionals such as myself who are open and affirming to all forms of sexual expression between consenting adults, I can say with certainty that this is a very important issue and I hope every person who reads my blog will help by signing this petition. In 3 minutes you can make a difference.
We need 3,000 signatures, but we only have 2,200 now. If you don’t speak up and call on the American
Psychiatric Association to adhere to empirical research when revising the diagnoses in the Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM V), then the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work
Group won’t make a meaningful change.
To sign, go to: www.thepetitionsite.com/1/DSMrevisionpetition
You can make your signature anonymous on this secure petition site so it doesn’t appear on the Internet
or when the petition is delivered to the APA.
We have very special guests tonight on the Sex & Intimacy Show — the entertaining show about everyone’s favorite subject! Tonight we will be joined by Richard & Diana Daffner. The Daffner’s are the authors of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day. Did you hear that? 10 minutes for a hotter sex life! The Daffner’s also bring an interesting twist to sexuality in that they are both instructors in the martial arts. Diana is actually a black belt! Richard and Diana are incredibly passionate about using sexual connection as a pathway to intimacy, love and authentic presence. Tonight’s show will be on immediately following the Avalanche post game show, so take a nap at work today and join us tonight. For listening information and more information about Richard and Diana go to www.sexandintimacyshow.com
Over the years I’ve had wonderful therapists and I’ve had awful therapists. Most of my colleagues range from good to gifted. Unfortunately, I also come across therapists that I wouldn’t let pet my cat, let alone work with one of my friends. There is not a week that goes by that I am not asked how to select a therapist. I write a monthly column for AccessRx — a leading men’s health blog and decided to comprehensively tackle the issue in the hopes that it will help people know what to look for. A good therapist can help you heal while a bad therapist can do permanent damage. If you would like to learn more about how to make one of the biggest life-choices that you will ever make, you can read my article at the AccessRx.com blog. Look for the article called “Sex Whisperers: How to Select the Right Sex Therapist.”
Tonight we will be joined by the outrageously effervescent media personality and “Diva of Divine Relationships,” Francesca Gentille. Francesca has spent the past 10 years at the forefront of alternative culture.
In her mid-20′s she was the host of a nationally syndicated movie review show; “Take Two,” interviewing stars such as Tom Hanks, and Darryl Hannah. Today, Francesca supports every person as the star of his or her own movie. Come join us. You can watch the movie of your life or you can create the movie of your life. I hope you will join us and learn how to star in your own movie.
The Sex & Intimacy Show at 10PM Mountain Time, Midnight EDT. www.sexandintimacyshow.com