It was only a matter of time before Tiger ended up in rehab for “sex addiction.” I’ve been predicting this scenario publicly since November. It appears that Tiger is now at Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services in Mississippi, not South Africa as originally reported. The lesson I hope women will take away from my posting today is that men don’t cheat because of your appearance, which is a common belief that women latch on to . Take a look at this picture of Elin Woods. Trust me, Tiger’s admitted “transgressions” didn’t have anything to do with her looks! Infidelity is about unfulfilled needs, low self esteem, compulsivity, irresponsibility and a low emotional IQ. Cheating can be about getting even and a lot of other things including narcissism which raises a lot of questions about Tiger. If you would like to read more about the impact of “sex addiction” and infidelity, you might enjoy an article I was interviewed for by the leading women’s magazine, “She Knows”. http://www.sheknows.com/articles/812944
2010 is The Year of the Tiger. Not only that, but Chinese New Years falls on February 14th this year. Hmmm. I bet Valentine’s Day is a little different in the Woods household this year. But here’s the deal: Regardless of how bad it looks, it may not be over for Tiger and Elin. People who are compulsive about sex can be just as compulsive about healing if given the chance. If Tiger and Elin want to make this work and hold their family together, they can. Believe it or not, I have seen couples with much bigger problems heal and learn to love each other like never before. It may look hopeless, but don’t count Tiger out from coming back yet. Just ask Roco Mediate!
We’ve all done it. ”If only my partner would do X, Y, or Z, our relationship would be so much better.” With that in mind, I hope you enjoy the following story by Valerie Cox as much as I do…
“A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.”
(Story contributed by the world’s great son, Ki Cannon)
She may not be Bill Clinton, but she is definitely one of the most important people in the field of sexuality. Dr. Patti Britton is the Immediate Past President of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). www.aasect.org. Past President’s of AASECT read like the “Who’s Who” of sexuality professionals. AASECT is the leading organization that certifies sex therapists throughout the world. As I was thinking about the honor of having Dr. Britton appear on our show, I couldn’t help but think back to the elation I felt the day I learned that my 75 page application to become an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist was approved by the certification committee. In addition to adherence to a strict code of ethics, AASECT Certified Sex Therapists are required to meet a long list of educational, experiential and clinical requirements. Few people are better equipped to discuss any sexual concern than Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Patti Britton. I hope you will join us for what promises to be an excellent show. For more about the show: www.sexandintimacyshow.com. To learn more about Dr. Patti Britton: http://www.yoursexcoach.com/
There are some things I just couldn’t make up and this is one of them. A 33 year old woman from the great state of Pennsylvania is getting hitched to an amusement park gondola ride. The couple has been dating for over a decade with the bride-to-be having ridden the ride 3000 times during the 10 year courtship. The ride is manufactured by a company called Weber and as is the custom, the bride will adopt Weber as her surname. Very traditional, don’t you think? The cool thing is that the bride is a church organist so she can play her own wedding march. It seems they are practicing safe sex as long as she wears her seatbelt and she seems to be satisfied with her sex life so there isn’t much for me to do here. A source close to the situation who asked not to be identified told me the happy couple will be going to Disney World on their honeymoon.
Yesterday shined a spotlight for me on the process required to heal from infidelity. I had a couple in my office that was in week 14 of therapy following an affair. Three months earlier this couple was on the verge of divorce. Neither party wanted to be in therapy and in fact after the first session the couple was so mad at each other I wasn’t certain if they would actually come back. This week when I saw them they had grown to the point that they are closer and more intimate than ever. They are looking forward and dreaming about the future. Fast forwarding to the same leather couch in my office two hours later I was working with a different couple who was in week 2 of a similar situation. The anger was raw. The mistrust rampant. Shame and guilt filled the room. Divorce was on the table. It was difficult for the second couple to see any glimmer of hope. The major difference between the two couples of course is where they are in the process. There is a myth that couples cannot recover from affairs. Nothing could be farther from the truth. As demonstrated by the first couple, an affair can actually act as a catalyst to enhance communication, love, sex and intimacy. The one thing we know about people who are willing to make the effort and fight through the pain is that there is always hope, possibility and potential. www.doctorcannon.com.