Nobody comes into my office and says, “Hey Doc, I just lost my life savings and my erection is better than ever.” The truth is that stress can negatively impact erections but so can a lot of other things. More than one-third of American men between 40 to 70 experience erectile difficulties (ED). That’s 20 million men! The great thing is that there is a lot you can do to improve the situation. If you are on medication, talk to your doc and see if your meds could be the culprit. If so, there are generally alternatives that are more penis-friendly. Exercise more. It’s all about your cardiovascular system and blood flow. If you smoke, stop yesterday. Not only do cigarettes make your mouth taste like an ashtray but they will soften your erection as well and ultimately make your penis shrink down to the size of a baby carrot. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra may be options for you as well. Many GP’s are not aware of the 2.5 MG dose of everyday Cialis so you might want to talk to your MD about that as an option (less side affects and you are always ready). Your diet and vitamins can also have an impact. There is a really good book called “The Hardness Factor” that has lots of details about how diet and vitamins can make for a harder and happier penis. The bottom line is that most couples don’t have to settle for softness.
As we wrap up 2009 I found it interesting, but hardly surprising that US News & World Reports announced marriage and family therapy as one of the 50 best careers for 2010. Why? Because counseling works! I can’t tell you how many times I have seen individuals and couples in horrible distress who feel more hopeful after just one therapy session. Most people are in therapy for a lot longer than one session of course and I am certainly not claiming the positive results are due to my “personal brilliance”. However when we think about the three most important characteristics in a counselor; those being “empathy, warmth, and genuineness,” (William Miller), it’s hardly surprising that people respond well to therapy, which is why the field is growing. The best advice I can give anyone considering therapy is that if you think you need it, you just might. I love what Sydney Smith said, “Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” That is what it is like to be a therapist 7 days a week, so what’s not to love!
Help make history by signing the DSM Revision Petition now! The diagnoses in the DSM-IV-TR still subject
people who practice BDSM, fetishes and cross-dressing to bias, discrimination and social sanctions
without any scientific basis.
Sexual attitudes and behaviors change over time, i.e., it was only 100 years ago that masturbation was thought to cause blindness by the same medical community that is responsible for writing the 800 page DSM today. Do you really want the government in your bedroom determining what is and is not a healthy form of sexual expression?
In addition to my private practice as a sex therapist I also testify as an expert witness as well as conduct diversity training for large corporations. Labeling people as mentally ill can have a tremendous impact on child custody cases, employment matters, and security clearances. For mental health professionals such as myself who are open and affirming to all forms of sexual expression between consenting adults, I can say with certainty that this is a very important issue and I hope every person who reads my blog will help by signing this petition. In 3 minutes you can make a difference.
We need 3,000 signatures, but we only have 2,200 now. If you don’t speak up and call on the American
Psychiatric Association to adhere to empirical research when revising the diagnoses in the Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM V), then the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work
Group won’t make a meaningful change.
To sign, go to: www.thepetitionsite.com/1/DSMrevisionpetition
You can make your signature anonymous on this secure petition site so it doesn’t appear on the Internet
or when the petition is delivered to the APA.
We have very special guests tonight on the Sex & Intimacy Show — the entertaining show about everyone’s favorite subject! Tonight we will be joined by Richard & Diana Daffner. The Daffner’s are the authors of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day. Did you hear that? 10 minutes for a hotter sex life! The Daffner’s also bring an interesting twist to sexuality in that they are both instructors in the martial arts. Diana is actually a black belt! Richard and Diana are incredibly passionate about using sexual connection as a pathway to intimacy, love and authentic presence. Tonight’s show will be on immediately following the Avalanche post game show, so take a nap at work today and join us tonight. For listening information and more information about Richard and Diana go to www.sexandintimacyshow.com
We’ve all done it. ”If only my partner would do X, Y, or Z, our relationship would be so much better.” With that in mind, I hope you enjoy the following story by Valerie Cox as much as I do…
“A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.”
(Story contributed by the world’s great son, Ki Cannon)
She may not be Bill Clinton, but she is definitely one of the most important people in the field of sexuality. Dr. Patti Britton is the Immediate Past President of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). www.aasect.org. Past President’s of AASECT read like the “Who’s Who” of sexuality professionals. AASECT is the leading organization that certifies sex therapists throughout the world. As I was thinking about the honor of having Dr. Britton appear on our show, I couldn’t help but think back to the elation I felt the day I learned that my 75 page application to become an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist was approved by the certification committee. In addition to adherence to a strict code of ethics, AASECT Certified Sex Therapists are required to meet a long list of educational, experiential and clinical requirements. Few people are better equipped to discuss any sexual concern than Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Patti Britton. I hope you will join us for what promises to be an excellent show. For more about the show: www.sexandintimacyshow.com. To learn more about Dr. Patti Britton: http://www.yoursexcoach.com/
If you want to hear tried and true ways to have great sex from one of the world’s leading experts, be sure to tune in to the Sex & Intimacy Show on Thursday night, August 20th at 10PM Mountain Time. Our guest is none other than Dr. Stephanie Buehler (no relation to Ferris). Dr. Buehler is a truly brilliant sex therapist and one of the leading people in the field of human sexuality. If you have a difficult question about your sexual health or are struggling with your sex life, you won’t want to miss Thursday’s show. To see the various ways to listen to the show and talk directly to Dr. Buehler please visit: www.sexandintimacyshow.com.
Most of us would agree that Ferraris, mansions, and yachts are reserved for the privileged. How many of us however view sex as a privilege? Elderly people who live in retirement homes rarely have sufficient privacy for sex . People with disabilities are often told they are lucky to be alive so they shouldn’t even worry about sex. And what about the members of our armed forces who so valiantly serve our country but are separated from their sexual partners for long periods of time. Next time you see a homeless person give some thought as to what their sex life must be like. I’m just saying, even if you don’t have a private jet, if you are having sex you may be more privileged than you ever gave yourself credit for.
Sending gays to therapy to become “un-gay” has been a hotly debated topic within the mental health community for many years. One school of thought (from a very tiny school with even smaller thoughts) is that homosexuality is a mental illness and that gays should undergo “reparative therapy” in order to become heterosexual. The American Psychological Association (APA) representing its’ 150,000 professional members, said yesterday that after an exhaustive review of 50 years worth of studies, even if gays wanted to become straight there is no credible evidence concluding that reparative therapy is effective. As a clinician who has worked with countless people of every sexual orientation, I can say with confidence that sexual orientation is not a choice, but rather a clear case of nature over nurture. The only people that need repair are the people who impose their moral values on others, pathologize those who are different than themselves, and claim there is only one way to live in this life.
If Indiana Congressman, Steve Buyer, gets his way — sex could be the next thing to get taxed. Apparently during discussions for the new health care bill, Buyer suggested a sin tax by way of higher health care premiums for those who engage in risky behavior, including unprotected sex. (I don’t believe he included risky behaviors such as skydiving, martial arts, or your Harley ride to Sturgis next weekend). Now let’s just suppose you agree with the congressman. How are we going to monitor and enforce it? How will we know the difference between a broken condom and no condom at all? Would it include oral sex or only intercourse? By the way, would we make that retroactive to President Clinton’s tryst with Monica, and if so, would the insurance premiums increase for both partners equally, or would there be different rates based on income? Forget nanny cams, if this bill passes I am going into the business of condom cams!