It was only a matter of time before Tiger ended up in rehab for “sex addiction.” I’ve been predicting this scenario publicly since November. It appears that Tiger is now at Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services in Mississippi, not South Africa as originally reported. The lesson I hope women will take away from my posting today is that men don’t cheat because of your appearance, which is a common belief that women latch on to . Take a look at this picture of Elin Woods. Trust me, Tiger’s admitted “transgressions” didn’t have anything to do with her looks! Infidelity is about unfulfilled needs, low self esteem, compulsivity, irresponsibility and a low emotional IQ. Cheating can be about getting even and a lot of other things including narcissism which raises a lot of questions about Tiger. If you would like to read more about the impact of “sex addiction” and infidelity, you might enjoy an article I was interviewed for by the leading women’s magazine, “She Knows”. http://www.sheknows.com/articles/812944
2010 is The Year of the Tiger. Not only that, but Chinese New Years falls on February 14th this year. Hmmm. I bet Valentine’s Day is a little different in the Woods household this year. But here’s the deal: Regardless of how bad it looks, it may not be over for Tiger and Elin. People who are compulsive about sex can be just as compulsive about healing if given the chance. If Tiger and Elin want to make this work and hold their family together, they can. Believe it or not, I have seen couples with much bigger problems heal and learn to love each other like never before. It may look hopeless, but don’t count Tiger out from coming back yet. Just ask Roco Mediate!
Yesterday shined a spotlight for me on the process required to heal from infidelity. I had a couple in my office that was in week 14 of therapy following an affair. Three months earlier this couple was on the verge of divorce. Neither party wanted to be in therapy and in fact after the first session the couple was so mad at each other I wasn’t certain if they would actually come back. This week when I saw them they had grown to the point that they are closer and more intimate than ever. They are looking forward and dreaming about the future. Fast forwarding to the same leather couch in my office two hours later I was working with a different couple who was in week 2 of a similar situation. The anger was raw. The mistrust rampant. Shame and guilt filled the room. Divorce was on the table. It was difficult for the second couple to see any glimmer of hope. The major difference between the two couples of course is where they are in the process. There is a myth that couples cannot recover from affairs. Nothing could be farther from the truth. As demonstrated by the first couple, an affair can actually act as a catalyst to enhance communication, love, sex and intimacy. The one thing we know about people who are willing to make the effort and fight through the pain is that there is always hope, possibility and potential. www.doctorcannon.com.