If you or a loved one is struggling with any type of problematic sexual behavior, you have taken an important first step toward change and healing.

For more than a decade I have worked with countless men and women to eliminate problematic sexual behaviors of all types.  During the same time span I have helped countless couples who felt completely hopeless; to heal, re-connect, and learn to love and trust each other again.

My approach is something I developed as an alternative to 12-Step programs and the traditional “sex addiction” model.  My approach is strength-based and non-shaming.  It is based on evidence  based methods of psychotherapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, Positive Psychology and Solution Focused Therapy.  When it comes to the couples component of this healing process, my approach is based on evidence based methods as well, such as the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

My approach works so well that I have been invited countless times by leading associations and universities to teach this strength based approach to their students and other mental health professionals.  In 2016, the first symposium of its’ kind was held by AASECT on the subject of Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB).  The symposium was conducted at The Brown School of social work at Washington University in St. Louis. I was honored to be appointed by AASECT as faculty along with a small handful of other thought leaders on the subject of OCSB.  It should be noted that Doug Braun-Harvey and Michael Vigorito coined the term OCSB in 2004 and have subsequently published the leading book on this subject called, “Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Re-Thinking Sex Addiction.”

I have taught this approach to countless professionals who now use it in their own communities.  Although I don’t lead with 12-Steps in terms of my treatment protocols, I do support many clients who have been in 12-Step recovery programs.  If 12-steps has been an approach that has become a strength for you, then I say let’s use it.  If you would prefer a different approach that is more tailor-made to you, then we can do that.  I have many clients who have been referred to me by their in-patient treatment program such as The Meadows in Arizona, Pine Grove in Mississippi, and the Pride Institute in Minnesota.

As you are exploring your treatment options, here is some information that may help you decide what is right for you…

The concept of “sex addiction” is highly controversial and it is more than just a label.  It over-simplifies a very complex problem.  The “sex addiction” model is a disease model like alcoholism.  Sobriety is the goal and it is treated with 12-Step programs.  In many “sex addiction” programs, sobriety is defined in a way where there is no acceptance for masturbation for the rest of your life.  Sexual behavior outside of “vanilla sex” between married couples is also often off limits for life.  Examples of that are that fetishes are often considered to be “part of your addiction” as are many other behaviors such as BDSM, kink, or same sex relationships.

In our approach, we tend to be less behaviorally focused and more humanistic.


A critical part of my treatment model is to do a proper assessment.  On the surface, it generally looks like sex is the problem rather than the manifestation of other problems.  I have found that problematic sexual behaviors are often a symptom of some two underlying issue…

The first is that many of the people who come to me seeking treatment for “sex addiction,” are often struggling with un-diagnosed or un-treated mental health issues.  The most common mental health issues I see related to problematic sexual behaviors are ADHD, anxiety, Autism, OCD, depression, bi-polar, and or traits of narcissism.  75% of every person I see who comes to me for “sex addiction” has an untreated mental health issue.

The second common factor I see in people coming to me for help with “sex addiction” is untreated trauma, abuse and bullying. Just like mental health, three out of every four people I see who identify as “sex addicts” have been sexually, emotionally, and or physically abused.

This is why in my approach we compassionately assess the whole person, not just the problematic behavior.  We need to assess and treat mental health and trauma.  When the person feels better, it is easier to modify the behavior in a way that leads to sustainable change.


The majority of my OCSB clients seek treatment because one of the partners got caught acting in a way that was outside their relationship agreement. Secrets can destroy relationships and sexual secrets in particular can feel excruciatingly painful. The injured partner often feels betrayed beyond any words that I can express here. For some couples, trust becomes non-existent and the entire relationship is at risk.

As part of the assessment process, I help you create a treatment plan to determine what you will need to heal in terms of individual counseling, couples counseling, psychiatric care, etc., when applicable.  I work with many of the best people in the state and I will help you carefully identify who else you need on your team as you go through this healing process.


When it comes to the concept of “sex addiction” here is an important piece of information for you to consider as you decide which treatment approach you want to pursue.

Since 1952, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) has published a reference book called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). The DSM 5 is the current edition and it consists of nearly 900 pages. The DSM-5 provides common language and standard criteria to classify mental disorders for the psychiatric community, insurance companies and the courts. The DSM 5 includes multiple addictions, including alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, and eating disorders. Sex addiction is not included in the DSM 5 and is not included in the exhaustive section as an condition for future study.

In 2017, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists published a statement stating that there is not sufficient empirical evidence to support a diagnosis of sex addiction.

Why does this matter?  In order to create sustainable change, we need to treat the underlying issues that cause the destructive behavior, rather than simply put a bandaid on the behavior.



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