Whatever your concern, my goal is to help you find the path that works for you.  For those who are in the early stages of exploration, you may find the information below to be helpful.

Bisexuality is when a person is sexually or romantically attracted to both men.  Those attractions may evolve, come to life, or change over a person’s life span.  Sexual orientation is a continuum ranging from pure heterosexuality to pure homosexuality.  Being somewhere in the middle is perfectly normal.

The Kinsey Scale helps to explain the sexual continuum with zero as completely heterosexual and 6 being completely homosexual.  In Kinsey’s research where he studied approximately 18,000 people in the 1930′s and 1940′s he found that a very small percentage of people are either a zero or a 6 and that most people fall somewhere in between.

Here is one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Alfred Kinsey from his book published in 1948:

“Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black, nor are all things white. . . . [O]nly the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separate pigeonholes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.”

Nobody comes into my office and says, “Hey Doc, I just lost my life savings and my erection is better than ever.” The truth is that stress can negatively impact erections but so can a lot of other things.  More than one-third of American men between 40 to 70 experience erectile difficulties (ED).  That’s 20 million men!  The great thing is that there is a lot you can do to improve the situation.  If you are on medication, talk to your doc and see if your meds could be the culprit.  If so, there are generally alternatives that are more penis-friendly.  Exercise more.  It’s all about your cardiovascular system and blood flow.  If you smoke, stop yesterday. Not only do cigarettes make your mouth taste like an ashtray but they will soften your erection as well and ultimately make your penis shrink down to the size of a baby carrot.  Viagra, Cialis and Levitra may be options for you as well.  Many GP’s are not aware of the 2.5 MG dose of everyday Cialis so you might want to talk to your MD about that as an option (less side affects and you are always ready).  Your diet and vitamins can also have an impact.  There is a really good book called “The Hardness Factor” that has lots of details about how diet and vitamins can make for a harder and happier penis.  The bottom line is that most couples don’t have to settle for softness.

I wish this post was about Iraq or North Korea however unfortunately we are talking about California, the largest state in this great nation. Merriam-Webster’s 10th edition contains the term and definition for “oral sex” (oral stimulation of the genitals).  This past week, one parent in Riverside, California complained to the school district and the world’s most published dictionary has been banned from the 4th and 5th grade classrooms.  This is the type of “head in the sand” policy that continues to cause increasing rates in STD’s and unwanted teen pregnancies.  Our kids need comprehensive sexuality education.  Ignorance solves nothing.  I’m guessing that most 4th and 5th graders have access to a computer.  When they do a Google search for “oral sex” like I just did, they are going to see that the search engine found 21,300,000 pages of information on oral sex, the first of which was “Free Nasty Oral” while the second was “give the best blow jobs.”  CNN took a pole and found that 97% of the respondents are against banning the dictionaries yet the school board remains solid in their convictions and have vowed to “start looking for other things of a graphic nature.”  I propose that the 11th edition of the dictionary shows a picture of the 2010 school board next to the word, “knucklehead”.

Here it is folks, your comprehensive guide to semen in 500 words or less.  First off, semen is not to be confused with seamen.  Although many seamen are men, and most men have semen, and most semen contains 1% sperm, not all seamen can swim.  On the other hand, living sperm within semen can swim and generally do so at a nautical speed of 7 inches per hour.  Switching to air travel for semen, no seamen can fly but most semen can.  In fact, semen blast off during the initial ejaculatory launch at a speed of nearly 30 MPH and can fly up to 3 feet in the air.  This is exactly why the US Naval Command encourages their young seamen to where safety goggles during masturbation.  Semen presents dangers to even the most experienced seamen. For more valuable information on semen, go to: http://www.accessrx.com/blog/sexuality-dr-neil-cannon/all-about-semen/

It was only a matter of time before Tiger ended up in rehab for “sex addiction.”  I’ve been predicting this scenario publicly since November.  It appears that Tiger is now at Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services in Mississippi, not South Africa as originally reported.  The lesson I hope women will take away from my posting today is that men don’t cheat because of your appearance, which is a common belief that women latch on to .  Take a look at this picture of Elin Woods.  Trust me, Tiger’s admitted “transgressions” didn’t have anything to do with her looks!  Infidelity is about unfulfilled needs, low self esteem, compulsivity, irresponsibility and a low emotional IQ.  Cheating can be about getting even and a lot of other things including narcissism which raises a lot of questions about Tiger.  If you would like to read more about the impact of “sex addiction” and infidelity, you might enjoy an article I was interviewed for by the leading women’s magazine, “She Knows”.  http://www.sheknows.com/articles/812944

This has nothing to do with sex or relationships however it might impact your life.  I had the craziest experience this morning.  My parents are in their 80′s and my son is in his late 20′s.  Grandpa received a phone call this morning saying that my son had traveled to New York for a wedding and was in an auto accident.  The caller who was claiming to be my son said he needed thousands of dollars wired to Western Union right away.  Fortunately my son is okay and wasn’t in an accident.  The entire thing was a scam targeting the elderly.  (BTW: My mother is going to hate me for calling her elderly!).  Anyhow, this is the stuff we hear about on TV but think it will never happen to us.  As the sergeant used to say on Hill Street Blues as he was sending his squad off to protect and serve, “Let’s be careful out there.”

2010 is The Year of the Tiger.  Not only that, but Chinese New Years falls on February 14th this year.  Hmmm.  I bet Valentine’s Day is a little different in the Woods household this year. But here’s the deal: Regardless of how bad it looks, it may not be over for Tiger and Elin. People who are compulsive about sex can be just as compulsive about healing if given the chance.  If Tiger and Elin want to make this work and hold their family together, they can.  Believe it or not, I have seen couples with much bigger problems heal and learn to love each other like never before.  It may look hopeless, but don’t count Tiger out from coming back yet. Just ask Roco Mediate!

I have the honor of working with many people who have been abused physically, emotionally and or sexually.  Our culture teaches us to “forgive and forget” and in fact those who don’t are often shamed for not taking the high road.  Society says to forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones, and turn the other cheek.  For people who have been abused or traumatized, forgiving isn’t necessarily the answer.  The truth is you can choose to accept what has happened but you don’t have to forgive whoever has harmed you unless you so choose to.  Forgiving is a very personal choice not to be influenced by what you think you “should” do.  There is no shame in accepting what has happened without forgiving the perpetrator.  The power comes when you can make your reaction to what happened be a choice.  That’s the difference between being a victim and being a survivor.

As we wrap up 2009 I found it interesting, but hardly surprising that US News & World Reports announced marriage and family therapy as one of the 50 best careers for 2010.  Why?  Because counseling works!  I can’t tell you how many times I have seen individuals and couples in horrible distress who feel more hopeful after just one therapy session. Most people are in therapy for a lot longer than one session of course and I am certainly not claiming the positive results are due to my “personal brilliance”.  However when we think about the three most important characteristics in a counselor; those being “empathy, warmth, and genuineness,” (William Miller), it’s hardly surprising that people respond well to therapy, which is why the field is growing. The best advice I can give anyone considering therapy is that if you think you need it, you just might.  I love what Sydney Smith said, “Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.”  That is what it is like to be a therapist 7 days a week, so what’s not to love!