HEALING FROM INFIDELITY
Whether it was a physical affair or an emotional affair, the heartbreak and feelings of betrayal can be devastating. For some people, learning about infidelity can actually be traumatic. In my experience, the days and weeks following the discovery or disclosure of infidelity can be some of the darkest days that many people will ever experience.
My goal is to help couples heal in the in the best way possible from what can seem like an insurmountable problem. There are very specific stages that most couples experience following infidelity. Equally, there are processes to work through each stage. Each situation and couple is so different that there is no cookie cutter approach, however there is a beginning, middle and end to the process.
During the first stage, you may very well be in crisis. (If you are in the crisis stage and can not get an appointment right away, please call me or e-mail me and I will do the best I can to get you in immediately). During the crisis stage, we will work together to calm the storm and restore some sense of normalcy. This stage lasts different length of time for each couple.
As you work through the next stages of healing, you will learn what went wrong, how you got to where you are, and what needs to happen going forward. During that process you will choose if and when you are ready to forgive and be willing to trust again. By the time you are done with counseling you will be in a situation whereby you will be able to make an informed decision as to whether or not you want to go forward as a couple.
For couples who decide not to remain together, I provide counseling to assist you to have a “good divorce.” If children are involved, you may also want to work on how to co-parent. Studies show that it is not divorce alone that necessarily “ruins” children, but rather, the most difficult thing on children are parents who treat each other badly and place the kids in the middle.
As painful infidelity can be there can be an opportunity for couples to recreate their relationship and build a much stronger connection than ever thought possible. Most of the couples I work with survive infidelity and that’s one of the reasons why I believe there is always hope. It is not easy, however there is much at stake.
If you are a new client in the early stages of infidelity that has recently been discovered, double sessions can be really helpful when you book your appointment. If you are in the crisis stage and I don’t have any available appointments, please e-mail me with a brief explanation of your situation and I will do the best I can to get you in sooner than what might occur during the normal course of scheduling.