It is 12:51AM and the fire alarm in my Denver high-rise is screaming; “fool, jump before you die a miserable death.” My little black cat, the real Dr. Kinsey has left the warmth of our cashmere comforter and is hiding under the bed. Three big rig fire trucks are here to save us with sirens howling. Me, I am doing what every other red blooded American man would be doing in this situation, blogging about delayed ejaculation (formerly known as retarded ejaculation). Thanks to the pharmacutical companies most everyone knows about erectile dysfunction and “premature ejaculation,” now known as early ejaculation. Fewer people know about delayed ejaculation (DE) because there are no little pills to fix it. And the problem is that DE is every bit as emotionally painful as the more common sexual concerns previously mentioned. I can’t tell you how many men have told me they feel broken because the can’t ejaculate and say, “Doc, I’m so screwed up, I can’t even cum.” As for their partner, they usually feel inadequate saying, “I’m not good enough for him to even cum inside me.” The truth is that many men of all ages suffer from DE. DE can be physiological, but more frequently it is psychological. In any event it is generally treatable. Everything has a bright side, and my hope from this midnight fire drill is that men who suffer from DE will know they are not alone. Like the fire department, help is on the way. www.doctorcannon.com
I regularly get clients who are concerned about their penis size. Not surprisingly, as Internet porn grows, an increasing number of men think their own penises are too small. After all, porn is the primary source where many men get their ideas about what erect penises look like. Hence, the average guy doesn’t feel like he measures up. Think about it. How many heterosexual males have seen another man’s erect penis? Not many. Porn stars are carefully selected for the size of their equipment. Some porn stars may not be able to count to 11 without taking their pants off, however if size is king, porn stars own the thrown. Porn stars also take Viagra or Cialis prior to shooting (no pun intended) which enables them to be rigidly hard for long periods of time. What Joe the plumber needs to know is that the average erect penis, when measured scientifically (from the top of the pubic bone to the end of the penis) is 5.1 to 5.7 inches long. Most importantly, women don’t care how big you are. What women care about is your heart and your soul. Trust me, focus on being the skilled, passionate and giving lover that every man has the potential to be and everything else will take care of itself. For more information about penis size, check out the documentary, “My Penis and I” http://www.mypenisandeveryoneelses.com/index.php?id=3 www.doctorcannon.com
I’m about as open and affirming to all forms of sexual expression as one can possibly be. When it comes to sex, Archie Bunker would have called me a “left wing commie pinko fag.” I would never be so arrogant to say that I’ve heard it all, but I’ve heard a lot! Fetishes, check. Cross dressing, check. Sadomasochism, check. Gerbils, check. And as much as any person on this planet, I believe it’s all good if it’s between consenting adults. But that’s the root of this rant. Approximately 20% of teens have sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves to friends via cell phones and online postings. But teens can be 18 or 19, right? No problem except for one little detail. In those numbers, 11% of teen girls between 13 and 16 have done this. My kids are in their 20’s but I’m telling you that if my 13 year old son or daughter would have distributed naked pictures of themselves, I’d be on death row now and they would still be taking out the trash, one snotty tissue at a time. But that’s not all. To add insult to injury, sex offense charges are being filed against some of the kids, which may have me even more wound up than the original issue. As a society we over-legislate and under-parent. The government needs to stand down and moms and dads need to step it up! Okay, I feel better now but I need to leave so I can go confiscate my 28 year old daughter’s cell phone. www.doctorcannon.com
Many people seek sexual counseling from their pastor, rabbi or priest on topics ranging from pre-marital counseling to sexual abuse, to teenage sexuality, to couples counseling and sexual orientation issues. That would be like coming to me to have your car fixed – I could listen and I know where the engine is but that’s about it. According to a study released today by the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice and Healing; sexuality education is virtually non-existent for seminary students. According to the highly respected Rev. Debra Haffner, “There is an urgent need for ordained clergy who understand the connections between religion and sexuality.” If you need support related to sexuality, the best solution is to find a certified sex therapist which you can do by checking with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists www.aasect.org. There are more than 2000 members of AASECT throughout the world, the requirements for certification are comprehensive, and we are all here to help. www.doctorcannon.com
Tiffany Granath, Playboy Radio
I will never forget my first trip to Chicago in the early 1980’s. I was in my mid 20′s and it was toward the end of the sexual revolution (coffen sealed in 1984 with AIDS!). My colleague and I, Joe Schmidt, “took one for the team” and visited the famed Playboy Club in the heart of Chi Town. Since then I have had the privilege of attending parties at the Playboy Mansion and got to know first-hand what a class act Christy Heffner is. Fast forwarding to this afternoon, thanks to the president of Playboy Radio, Farrell Hirsch; my co-host and I, Elaina McMillan were featured on Playboy Radio, Sirius XM. Anytime we appear on a live show there are always risks for us because we are having conversations about what are uncomfortable topics for many people, i.e., sex. I must share with my loyal blog readers that Playboy was more professional than any guest could have ever hoped for. Our beautiful hostess, Tiffany Granath was gracious, compassionate, smart and nothing short of brilliant. Tiffany was sex positive and gave listeners permission to be true to their sexual selves. My personal life mission is to help make the world a more sex positive place, help people heal sexually, and help to people grow. Playboy was the perfect forum for helping real people overcome real life issues and we are glad Playboy is here to serve and entertain. Cheers to you Playboy! www.doctorcannon.com.
Do you remember when we were kids and we would turn in our soda bottles for a nickel? I sure can. Well now you can recycle your used butt plugs, dildos and vibrators and get paid $10. The next time you have an old sex toy simply send it to the sex toy recycling program and they will give you a $10 gift certificate from the sex toy retailer, Dreamscapes, (Yes, you need to clean it first!). For more information go to http://recycleyoursextoy.com. Not only is green sexy, but now it pays to be green! www.doctorcannon.com
Change is the top word for 2009. A Google search for “change” produces over one billion results. In the spirit of change, here are three ways to improve your sex life over the next 12 months. 1) Make your relationship a priority. It’s easy to forget about each other when we are caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Sometimes we simply have to put pleasure first. 2) Be strategic about sex. Many couples think sex has to be spontaneous because that’s how it is in the movies. In real life it doesn’t work that way for most people. We make plans to golf, shop, ski and take the kids to soccer. Start making plans to be sexual and I guarantee you’ll have more sex. 3) Try something new. Trade comfort for tension. Every couple has a sexual pattern. Figure out what yours’ is. This is a great exercise for couples that in and of itself can lead to better sex. Once you have figured out your sexual pattern, co-create hot new experiences that are outside the box (no pun intended).
Change starts with desire. I wish for each of you to create the changes you want so you can live the sexy life you deserve. www.doctorcannon.com
I get a lot of questions about ED. This is hardly surprising since it is estimated that ED effects up to 30 million men in the United States each year. Little did I know however that Viagra is used by the CIA as a secret weapon in the war against the Taliban. Apparently our best spies regularly bribe Afghan war lords with the little blue pill instead of cash and other favored commodities. Whether you are having erectile difficulties, early ejaculation, or delayed ejaculation, please take comfort knowing that each condition is generally treatable with no guns or weapons required! www.doctorcannon.com
It’s good modeling for parents to be affectionate in front of their children. Granted, most kids don’t want to see mom and dad compete for the World Federated Tongue Wrestling Championship, however they do like to see mom and dad be affectionate. It makes kids feel secure, safe and loved. The best way to make sure that your kids grow up to have healthy, sexy, intimate relationships as adults is to model it for them today. As families come together for the holidays this is a great opportunity for Mr. & Mrs. Claus to show the love. www.doctorcannon.com
I remember standing in the kitchen during the holidays when I was a little boy while three generations of Cannon women were cooking Christmas dinner. I recall asking my mom why she was cutting off the ends off the roast before placing it in the oven. She lovingly told me it was part of her mother’s recipe and that’s what made it special. So I asked her mom, my Grandmother Exie why she cut off the ends of the roast. Grandma Exie told me it was part of her mother’s recipe and that’s what made it taste so good. So I asked her mom, my great grandmother Mimi why she cut off the ends of the roast. Great Grandma Mimi looked at me with a funny expression and said, I used to cut off the end of the roasts because my old oven was so small. Not to be a buzz kill during the holidays, but 45% of first marriages end in divorce, 65% of second marriages end in divorce and 75% of 3rd marriages end in divorce. The reason for the same people getting divorced repeatedly is that they keep behaving the same way with different partners. The couples I see in my practice who respond best to therapy become highly conscious of their patterns and break old behaviors that aren’t working. The happiest couples tend to look for new ways to do things, new ways to love their partner, new ways to increase intimacy and above all else, new ways to grow together as a couple. Cheers! www.doctorcannon.com