Imagine a woman who is constantly aroused for no apparent reason. Imagine she is unable to control when and where she has orgasms. Imagine that even orgasm doesn’t bring resolution to her heightened state of arousal. On the surface it sounds great, but it is generally very problematic for those concerned. The term for this condition is Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS). Many women who have this condition don’t know what it is, don’t know where to turn, and feel ashamed because of it. If you are in this situation here is a resource for you: http://www.psas-support.com
Sending gays to therapy to become “un-gay” has been a hotly debated topic within the mental health community for many years. One school of thought (from a very tiny school with even smaller thoughts) is that homosexuality is a mental illness and that gays should undergo “reparative therapy” in order to become heterosexual. The American Psychological Association (APA) representing its’ 150,000 professional members, said yesterday that after an exhaustive review of 50 years worth of studies, even if gays wanted to become straight there is no credible evidence concluding that reparative therapy is effective. As a clinician who has worked with countless people of every sexual orientation, I can say with confidence that sexual orientation is not a choice, but rather a clear case of nature over nurture. The only people that need repair are the people who impose their moral values on others, pathologize those who are different than themselves, and claim there is only one way to live in this life.
Rarely does a day pass that somebody doesn’t ask me about those little pills that promise to make the penis gain colossal size, strength and control. Some of the offers are so compelling that potential buyers of the products might expect their new and improved penis to leap tall buildings in a single bound. After all, if “gazillions” of pills have been sold they must work, right? Let’s ask ourselves these two questions: 1) If they work, why don’t more men have seven inch penies, and 2) Are there any peer reviewed scientific journal articles that support the efficacy of these products? I haven’t seen such a study however I would love for somebody to send me one. Until then, only you can decide if male enhancement products will make your snake morph into a serpent, or if these magic pills are more like modern day snake oil.
There is the Smithsonian, The Louvre and The Grand Met. But why waste your time with the Mona Lisa when you can see an entire exhibit on underwear. Famed artist, Jan Bucquoy created the Underwear Museum in Brussels, Belgium. Bucquoy told Reuters that he is “creating poetry (and that) underwear is art.” To be considered for the exhibit, the underwear must have been worn by a celebrity or politician for at least one day. Bucquoy also noted that “If I had portrayed Hitler in his underpants there would not have been a war.” Really, Jan? I think we may have a new poster boy for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!
Letterman or Leno? Despite the side splitting humor of Leno’s “Jay-Walking” segment, I’m a Dave guy all the way!
David Letterman on “The Top 10 Reasons Golf is Better Than Sex.”
#10…A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9…You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8…It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7…Foursomes are encouraged.
#6…You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5..Three times a day is possible.
#4…Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#3..If you live in Florida, you can do it almost everyday.
#2…You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.
And the number one reason why golf is better than sex…..
#1…If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it!
Judgemental therapists give me a headache. Most therapists are compassionate, skilled, emapthic, loving, kind, supportive and nurturing. Several times per year however, including today, a new client sadly told me they were judged by their former therapist because said therapist wasn’t comfortable with the client’s sexual practices. That is maddening to me! As a member of the helping professions our vary ethos is to “first do no harm.” Fortunately, just when my gaskets were about to blow, a dear friend sent me this lovely quote from one of our former professors. The following quote from Dr. Epp reminded me of just how many extraordinary people there are in our field, when she said: “I am a sexologist and that means I’ve given my life to the scientific study of organized information about sex. Just as I wouldn’t judge daisies over roses if I were a botanist, I don’t judge sexual behaviors.” ~ Janice Epp, PhD — You go, girl. BTW: Dr. Charles Moser wrote a book entitled Health Care Without Shame. His book is difficult to obtain these days, however our health care system would be a kinder, gentler place if Moser’s book was required reading for all health care professionals.
If Indiana Congressman, Steve Buyer, gets his way — sex could be the next thing to get taxed. Apparently during discussions for the new health care bill, Buyer suggested a sin tax by way of higher health care premiums for those who engage in risky behavior, including unprotected sex. (I don’t believe he included risky behaviors such as skydiving, martial arts, or your Harley ride to Sturgis next weekend). Now let’s just suppose you agree with the congressman. How are we going to monitor and enforce it? How will we know the difference between a broken condom and no condom at all? Would it include oral sex or only intercourse? By the way, would we make that retroactive to President Clinton’s tryst with Monica, and if so, would the insurance premiums increase for both partners equally, or would there be different rates based on income? Forget nanny cams, if this bill passes I am going into the business of condom cams!
Everyone has heard of the 7 year itch. In clinical terms there are actually three stages of a relationship that are at higher levels of risk for divorce. Years 7, 15 and 25. During those times it is easy to focus on the problems. I like the approach that my colleague Tammy Nelson (seen right) takes which is to focus on the strengths of a relationship, or what she calls the “Waking Up Stage.” When couples learn to re-connect the spark can live on for the long term. In her book, Getting the Sex You Want, Tammy says, “When you crave more passion in your relationship, you really crave move depth or intimacy.” If you want to hear Tammy live, you can tune in to The Sex & Intimacy Show this Thursday, July 23, 2009. www.sexandintimacyshow.com
I don’t know how I missed it but March 15th is to Japan what the Rose Parade is to America. Honen Matsuri celebrates the prosperity of fertility. The festival’s main features are Shinto priests playing musical instruments, a parade of ceremonially garbed participants, all-you-can-drink sake, and a 620 pound, 96 inch long wooden phallus. Instead of floats decorated with roses, penises are the order of the day. It may sound like fun, but how on earth does this lady blow her nose?
Indian University (IU) reports that approximately half of both men and women use vibrators during sex. This is the first meaningful vibrator study ever conducted on thousands of people between the ages of 18 to 60. The researchers found that vibrators were helpful to overcome sexual dysfunction as well as to enhance pleasure. Much overlooked by IU is one additional benefit of buying a vibrator. Not only can you stimulate your partner but you can also stimulate the economy.