I am reading a fabulous book tonight by my friend and colleague, Dr. Marty Klein. His newest book is called, “Sexual Intelligence.” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when I got to the part about body image and perky young breasts. People my age (56) can really relate.
“Remember,” Marty said, “breasts don’t sag as we get older, they relax!” Nice reframe, Marty!
Being a big football fan (Go Broncos!), and of course a scientist of sexuality, I found this study to be fascinating. It is being conducted by a colleague at the University of Florida so if you have an interest in participating it is the real deal and credible. Participation information is below:
Approved University of Florida researchers are conducting a confidential study with heterosexual married women ages 28-58. If you feel satisfied with your marriage but are bothered by low interest is sex, you are invited to contact us for more information. Those who decide to participate will be assigned either to read a free copy of a self-help book or an erotic fiction book over the course of 6-weeks. You’ll be asked to fill out a personal sexuality questionnaire and your responses will be anonymous. Please contact us at email@example.com or (352) 641-0201
If you are a clinician you might enjoy this upcoming event put on by the Colorado Association of Marriage & Family Therapy where I will be sharing some of my favorite sexual interventions.
FRIDAY, SEPT. 20, 2013
8:30 a.m. to 4:45 p.m.
Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities
Due to the breakout session format, registration is ONLY available online this year. Go to www.coamft.org and click on “register here.” Please note you will need your CAMFT membership ID number to receive the member discount.
Keynote Presentation by Dr. David Schnarch and Dr. Ruth Morehouse
“Sexual Desire, Interpersonal Neurobiology, and Marriage and Family Therapy”
Attendees may register for three afternoon breakout sessions presented by:
Dr. David Schnarch – “Mind Mapping and Desire in Couple’s Therapy”
Dr. Ruth Morehouse – “Crucible® Approach: Differentiation is the Drivewheel of Client and Therapist Progress”
Dr. Neil Cannon – “Secrets from a Sex Therapist: Practical Interventions to Strengthen Clinical Outcomes when Sex is the Issue”
Dr. David Fenell – “Contextual Normalization Theory: A Systemic and Wellness-based Model for
Helping Combat Veterans and Their Families”
Dr. Pat Covalt – “Building Skills for Strong, Healthy Relationships with Emotional Intelligence”
Ms. Patti Swope – “Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: A Roadmap to Success”
One of the leading pioneers of sex research left us yesterday at the age of 88. Virginia “Ginny” Johnson and her late husband Bill Masters conducted the largest clinical sex study ever conducted on women in the United States. Can you imagine the courage it took to conduct an observational study on 700 women and men having orgasms in a laboratory half a century ago in conservative Washington University in St. Louis? Of the many gifts she left us, the three I appreciate most are:
1. Masters & Johnson (M&J) dispelled the myth created by Sigmund Freud who said clitoral orgasms were an immature sexual response compared to vaginal orgasms.
2. M&J helped us all to understand the four stage human sexual response cycle that those of us who followed have been able to build upon.
3. M&J created Sensate Focus which are a series of sex exercises for couples and individuals that are to a sex therapist what a hammer is to a carpenter.
On October 7, 2013 I have the honor and privilege of moderating a workshop in Denver on Sensate Focus that will be taught by Linda Weiner who worked with Dr. William Masters and Dr. Virginia Johnson back in the 1960′s.
Thank you, Ginny for your enormous impact on our field and for the many lives that you positively impacted. We are all better clinicians because of you!
When couples get stuck we can almost be assured that hearts are hard. If you are having a tough time feeling connected to your partner and it seems like you have had the same conversation many times without ever resolving anything, you are not alone. That is a very common pattern for many couples that are having a difficult time in their relationship.
Ultimately you will need to solve the underlying patterns to make sustainable progress. And that by the way is a very doable process for couples ready to change. In the meanwhile, if you think a softer heart could help your relationship, watch the 12 minute clip on ESPN’s Outside the Lines episode called, Carry On.
It just aired today and it touched me. As I watched it for the second time my partner and I wondered out loud, how could it not soften even the hardest of hearts….
I have had several clients ask me lately about upcoming Tantra workshops. Here is one being done by Dr. Sally Valentine in Florida. Sally has a lot of experience and this would be a wonderful workshop to attend for those interested.
As a Certified Sex Therapist, one of the biggest challenges we face with clients is a “sexual performance” mindset. For many people sex is about erections and orgasms. Gina Ogden does a fascinating job of changing the conversation to something much more relevant which is an exploration of the sexual experience as something much deeper than that. And she backs it up with research. This is a brilliant book and must reading for all sex therapists and couples counselors. It is also a wonderful book for people who want a better relationship, more intimacy and better sex!
I have treated countless men who were abused as children. For many, the shame runs deep. ”Why me? What did I do wrong? What if I was turned-on by the abuse?” For every man I treat who has been abused, there are different questions. One thing that rings consistently is a feeling of isolation when it comes to being able to talk about this their abuse. It is the big dark secret that men are afraid to discuss!
“Boys and Men Healing From Child Sexual Abuse” is coming to Boulder next week as a special preview. One of my mentors was instrumental in making this film and as such I had the privilege of following along with this film as it was being produced and was I able to preview it in its’ infancy. For men who have been abused, and the people who love them, it can indeed have the power to transform!
If this topic is of interest to you as a client or clinician, you won’t want to miss Boys and Men Healing!
April 9, 2013 at 6pm at the Boulder Public Library.
There is a celebratory day for everything from groundhogs to egg salad, so why not celebrate a little toe-curling sex? Back in 1980, Sex Therapist, Dr. Roger Libby launched National Orgasm Week and it has been going strong ever since. A little known fact is that the same Dr. Libby authored one of the best sex ed books ever created. ”The Naked Truth About Sex: A Guide to Intelligent Sexual Choices for Teenagers and Twenty-Somethings” is a wonderful book written in MTV format that is ideal for folks in that age group, as well as their parents!